How to Talk with Your Partner About BV: Our Founders Share Their Story

Talking to your partner about bacterial vaginosis, or BV, can feel way harder than it should, so many people put it off. But when should you have “the talk? Do you bring it up early? Wait until it affects intimacy? Say nothing and hope it passes?

For many people, BV doesn’t just come with physical symptoms, but with anxiety and a whole lot of overthinking. Trust us when we say you aren’t alone. In fact, our co-founders, Daniella and Hans, have been there themselves—it’s why they started Happy V in the first place.

We sat down with Daniella and Hans to talk candidly about how BV showed up early in their relationship, how they navigated vulnerability and communication as a couple, and what they learned about being supportive partners in the process. Their story is equal parts real, awkward, funny, and reassuring, and we hope it helps you have better conversations with your own partner about your vaginal health.

This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. See full disclaimer below.

How did you two meet?

D: (laughs) We met through mutual friends at a pool party in Miami Beach during Miami Music Week. I actually was not interested in Hans at all. I decided to become his friend because he was holding a mojito pitcher. If you know Hans, you know that he talks a lot, so he pretty much did all the talking, and I was just standing there with my mojito just nodding my head. I don’t even remember half of the things he said.

H: Because of the mojitos or because I talk a lot?

How long into the relationship would you say things started getting serious?

D: I would say it moved pretty quickly. We were hanging out every single day from the moment that we met, and we instantly clicked so every day it was him pretty much calling me up saying, “What are you doing? Come over! Let’s go to dinner! Let’s go watch a movie! Let’s go try out this new lounge! Let’s go try out this new space in Miami,” and I was always down with it.

How long had you been dealing with BV prior to the relationship?

D: I had been experiencing BV for three and a half or four years before I met Hans. I had had BV with a previous partner. I also had BV when I wasn’t dating anyone. I was managing it on my own, with ways that I had kind of realized work for me, but for short-term periods of time.

How long after you started dating did you decide it was time to talk to Hans about your BV?

D:  So it didn’t happen right away. I definitely was feeling out who Hans was, what type of person he was. Once we started being intimate, we were obviously using protection, and my BV came back, and it was really bad. I was kind of putting sex off, and other things we would normally do like go to the beach or go to the gym. Because he knew me really well at that point, he noticed I was acting strange, so I brought it up. It was probably 2 months into the relationship.

H:  Well I do need to point it out, you didn’t really bring it up. It was more forced out of you. I was like, “Oh why doesn’t she want to get intimate? What’s going on?” I actually forced the conversation, and she was very vulnerable with me.

Were you trying to hide your BV?

D:  Yes, I was trying to hide it. I was trying to act normal. But it wasn’t. When things were getting heated in the moment, I would just, you know, stop, when usually things would continue. And so that left the other person thinking, like, “Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with her?” And if you’ve been in a situation like that, it kind of puts you in an awkward position where you just kind of don’t even know where to go from there or what to say.

Hans, how were you feeling about your intimacy with Daniella before she opened up to you?

H: We were only, like 26 and 24 or something like that. Which is the age that, you know, you just want to go out. You want to do all these things. I really liked Daniella from the first time I met her, and yet there would just be these random times of, “No stop! We can’t do this.” So I would think, “Is something wrong with me?  Is she doing things that she’s not telling me about?” Questions come into your mind about cheating and all kinds of things. So it was a tough but crucial conversation to have.

D: I think what helped was that I saw that you were a very understanding person and you like to communicate. Previous partners that I had, they did not like communication. So I was kind of at this, you know, at this point where I was like, “Do I say something? Do I not say something?” I think I was feeling out the whole situation, wondering, “How is this person going to react?” And I was definitely assuming the worst - “How is this person going to react if I tell them that I have this vaginal health issue, and I don’t even really know what it is.”

Had anyone you previously opened up to you like this before, Daniella?

H:  No, definitely not. Not when it comes to Yeast Infections, Bacterial Vaginosis, UTIs - none of those types of conversations ever. You know, with my previous relationships, if I had a UTI or you know something was hurting, my partner would have no idea what I was talking about.

Hans, did you prepare to have this conversation with Daniella?

Hans: Let’s be real - no, I didn’t.

D: No, there was no prep.  But I could tell you that it was a day that we were at his house, and Hans probed at it and finally got it out of me.  He was just like, “What’s going on? You kind of seem a little different. You kind of seem a little distant at times…” And then I was like, “Look, it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with our entire relationship. It has to do with me. It’s not you, it’s me.” And that’s when I told him, “Have you ever heard of BV?” And then I don’t remember, did you say yes or no?

H: No, but you know with my personality, I got into this competitive research mode, and I just started learning what I could about it.

D: Yeah, like I mentioned to him the things that I had learned, and then he was like, “Thank you for letting me know and I appreciate you opening up to me, and telling me what you’re going through because that’s a very difficult thing to do.”

H:  It helped me understand, like, “Okay, so this is why she’s acting this way.” And that allowed us to move forward. It really did.

Daniella, was it more comfortable for you that Hans initiated the conversation?

D: I think it definitely made it a lot more comfortable for me to open up, just because I’m just not a confrontational type of person. And if he didn’t mention anything, I probably would’ve prolonged it a bit more and waited to open up.

H: If you have truly a partner that loves you, can be empathetic, can understand where you’re coming from, then that person will be understanding, and be able to continue with the conversation. It can’t be something that you can just hold in yourself.

D: Yeah, and in that moment, you showed me the kind of partner you were and the kind of partner you’d be in the long run. I realized in that moment that this is a person that I can go through anything with, something worse than BV, and you're going to be there with me through thick and thin.

H:  Whatever that something is, we can start another company for it.

D: You made me feel very comfortable, and honestly made me more attracted to you.

H:  Awww. I appreciate it.  Next time that we get into an argument I’m gonna pull this conversation out. And be like, “Remember?”

Hans, Is there anything that you think Dani could’ve done differently when she opened up?

H: No, she did everything exactly the way that you would expect somebody to do it. In fact, I was actually impressed that she trusted me enough to go down the path of doing scientific research and doing all these things to figure out how to help. Like with the Vitamin C tablets.

D: (laughs) So when Hans was doing his research about different things to help with the BV, one of them was inserting Vitamin C tablets. He was like, “I read this study,” and so then I read it, too. So we went to Vitamin Shoppe, we bought the Vitamin C tablets, and it was on the way to my mom’s birthday party. So we go to my mom’s birthday party, I go into the bathroom, put up a Vitamin C tablet. Twenty minutes later, kid you not, I go up to Hans, and I’m like, “We have to leave right now, we have to leave right now,” because my vagina was on fire!  So, don’t try this at home, guys. But, I had to leave my mom’s birthday party because of one of these DIY home remedies online. I do not recommend that.

H: So, just going back to that original question of what else could I expect. She was understanding that I came from a place that was supportive. She recognized the experience and expertise I have in the world that we are working in right now, and she trusted me, so I mean, what else can I ask from her?

Daniella, what advice would you give to anyone who just starts dating and is experiencing BV or any other vaginal health issue?

D: So, the advice that I would give is don’t feel pressured or rushed into saying anything to this partner unless you’re going to get intimate. I would also advise maybe practicing this conversation with a friend of yours, your sister, your mom and practicing on them and seeing how they would respond because one of the things that held me back was not knowing how to handle his response, and we always think the worst, which is not always bad thing, but just keep in mind that this person might not be receptive to the information that you’re giving them. And if that person doesn’t respond the way that you want them to, it kind of shows you what that person would be like in a long-term relationship, and if you really want to be with that person long-term or not, so it’s kind of like a blessing in disguise.

Hans, what advice would you give to others like yourself, who one day may have to deal with something similar to this?

H: So when it comes to the role of the partner, you have to embrace the situation and support your partner to the best of your ability. There’s 21 million women per year in the United States alone that get bacterial vaginosis. Something like another 9 million get yeast infections, and then another three or four million that get UTIs. This is very common, right? You have a mother, you have a sister, a cousin, a best friend, a loved one that has gone through this before. That was our first slogan, right? “You’re not alone, you never were.” I mean millions of people deal with this, so it’s nothing strange. Just remember your role is to support that person to the best of your ability, remember that other people have gone through this before, and there’s ways to address it and move forward together. That’s the best thing you possibly do.

D: To add to Hans’ point, being supportive is so helpful for that other person because you’re making them comfortable. You’re helping them realize that you know you guys can work through this together, and that is key in any relationship is that you can work through things together.

What’s one of the best things about creating Happy V together?

D: One of the best things about creating Happy V is that we’ve formed this community where we don’t just to share our experience but hear and support the experiences of so many others, and we hope that all the women dealing with bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, and UTIs know that you truly have our support.

H: Anything we can do to help, we’re more than happy to. That’s why we’re here.

Your Fresh Start is Here

If you’re reading this and thinking about how to have these conversations with your partner, you’re probably taking your vaginal health seriously—and that’s a big deal. We know from experience that no matter how long you’ve been battling BV or other vaginal issues, a fresh start is possible, especially when you have science-backed support.

Meet The Fresh Kit

The Fresh Kit is the easiest way to completely revamp your vaginal health routine and take control of your wellness. Of course, it includes our doctor-formulated Prebiotic + Probiotic, which is made using the same clinically studied strains that finally helped clear Daniella’s recurring BV. Plus, it’s got a few other Happy V favorites to help you feel fresh from the inside out, like our: Liquid Chlorophyll

• D-mannose
• Stick 5-Pack
• Self Care Crew cap
• Water bottle

Because when it comes to vaginal health, the best kind of support is a partner who shows up and a routine that helps you feel your best.

Keep the Conversation Going

• Visit our blog for more women's health tips.
• Join our private Happy V Facebook group to hear from others who've been there.
• Explore supplements designed to support your vaginal health journey.

 

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Statements about supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. For more information about vaginal infections, visit the CDC or speak to a licensed healthcare provider.